Time to introduce the other new member of the doggy family, a very sleepy addition - but very sweet!

Quabbin reservoir (used to be 4 villages before the valley was flooded - now supplies Boston with water)

Monday, November 26th

What a day, got home one hour ago (it's now 9.30). Was a long day, I am running my study tomorrow and just as I contemplated coming home part of my experiment decided to enter fast forward mode - no time to read any of the screens or answer any of the questions. just stared at it in disbelief. The scary thing is I still don't know what was going on. I recovered a file of a few hours earlier when it was still working and am now using that one instead. Going to get to the uni early to check everything once more, I still keep finding a whole load of mistakes, really stupid ones.
Perhaps it was punishment for thinking I could take of 2.5 days during thanksgiving. I went back to Amherst to see some friends I had not seen in 18 years. It was wonderful, a real highlight of this trip. One of the people I was visiting is my age, and we last saw one another when I was 13. So funny to see that his humor and jokes and way of teasing were exactly the same. And he still laughs at my jokes and commented that I still have the same sense of humor too. Real trip down memory lane, the mother still tells him and his sister off in just the same way when they are being silly - I really had to giggle. They are lovely people, I hope to see them more frequently. Amherst was small, much smaller than I remembered (and that disappointed me). As my mother said: You were small then so things seemed bigger, but I had not expected to have seen the whole thing within 20 minutes. I did see the place were I sang christmas carols in a choir (I got put into that because the cookery class was already full - it was NOT my own choice, and I would think the teacher might have wished the cookery class had found a place for me however full...).
I finally invited J for dinner, asking whether he could make next weekend. He said yes, and that was it. So I am not sure whether he actually wants to come but at least I have 2 weeks, almost, to figure out something I can cook and everyone likes...

Tuesday, November 21st

3 dogs and myself alone at home. Just had to wake one of them up, hanging over my knee, quietly snoring. Big dog is back for thanksgiving break and decided to lie in something that looks rather disgusting. Now I feel I should clean her up but unfortunately I can't find the doggy shampoo... Went to work today thinking I'd catch some people before they left for thanksgiving break. I only caught one person about to leave, the rest of the afternoon I was pretty much the only living soul in the building. Weird feeling, it's a maze of a building, weird to wander through the gray maze on your own. Actually slightly scary too so I left my door closed (it locks automatically).
Yes, so this is the American thanksgiving. I don't remember it from my last visit to the States but it is kind of like Christmas. I am really really glad I have been invited up to Amherst for the 2 real thanksgiving days, otherwise it would be very lonely here (although L is not going anywhere). Luckily I can spend my time learning medialab. It's an incredible program, it is completely unclear to me when and where it accesses folders. Today it started using an old file that happened to be left on the desktop (oh and now I see why suddenly, so my weblog is even good for medialab problems). But anyway, this program keeps surprising me, which is somewhat worrying given that by next week Tuesday I need to have mastered it well enough not only to not be suprised anymore but to actually have a program that runs without crashing. And only on Monday do I discuss it with J., so if I have to change stuff I wont have much time left. But then who knows, I may not be running it anyway, if my worst fears come true.
Not much else to tell, having some supervision issues, not with J, and that's all I'll say. I'll also say that it worries me. A lot.
J I have not seen much recently, run by once a week and take 5 minutes to ask some questions. I hope he's just busy, not that I have been too much of a nuisance recently, or his irritation about my IRB attitude has lasted. He seems less concerned about what I am doing. Or is it just me worrying again? Perhaps in my tenseness of the past weeks I have become an unpleasant person to him, too goal oriented? Am I too goal oriented? Most of my questions are because I am scared I have done or will do something wrong. I am supposed to pluck up the courage to invite for a self cooked dinner, knowing that his wife is a super cook. Will I dare to do that? I wonder whether he will want to come, he does not really socialize individually with his grad students.
Well, just enjoying a sip of wine having visited the wine shop to get some thanksgiving presents. Since J (L's boyfriend) told me that the owners of the wineshop don't drink because they are muslim I don't ask their advice anymore. Makes it difficult to buy a wine you don't know. I hope I did well, I still need to follow a wine course to get some wine knowledge (or just talk to my father and also take notes). Uff, difficult typing when you have a sleepy head hanging over your arm. I'm going to read my nice new book, "The Ha-Ha".

Friday, November 16 or 17th

Today I discovered that running more than 9 kilometers and then going to work is not always a good combination. I could have curled up under my desk and fallen fast asleep, were it not for my research assistant who needed supervision (which was actually nice because otherwise there was nobody around to talk to). Probably he should have been the one taking the nap, he had not slept last night and he's bright but today I started to teach him something new, saw his face and said "why don't you just finish up what you were doing last time". It's nearly thanksgiving break, everyone is tired (me too, only I don't have a week's holiday, I have a computer program that keeps providing me with new mysteries to solve). I hope at some point I get round to actually focusing on what I want to study, rather on how to program it.
So it is finally weekend and I am going to try and take it off (this afternoon I was already thinking "but a little programming should be ok" - no I wont, but I am concerned I may get into some problems end of this week, programming 3 questions took me 3 hours today and I still have not solved the problem that kept arising).
Oh, and I have ipod issues, thanks to L. SO I finally bought myself a pink ipod, only to realize I needed more capacity. Now L discovered that the higher capacity ones only come in one colour, black, and i love my pink. But there is a special edition, which is red, only it's on sale 45 minutes from here, or on line. So this evening I tried to take back my pink one (and it took a lot of persuasion to drive to a mall at 6.30 this evening before dinner and after work). Got there, and they did not have enough cash in the register to pay me back! And the person behind the counter said she thought the 8 gb ipod was not worth it (because you can buy a 30 gb for the same price, but with less battery power and bigger). Did I ask her for her opinion, I don't think so. So I had to leave again without getting the thing changed (and it had taken me 4 days to finally get there). It also took me a long time to get home because I took L's shortcut home in the wrong direction.
Maybe give it another try tomorrow, I can also drive 45 minutes in the other direction and do both in one go - but now she made me doubt again whether i should not buy the 30 GB one instead. Do I need this small size? Well, it is nice because it will even fit in your pocket.
Enough, no more ipod. Tomorrow I go play tennis with D. On Sunday I may go on an outing, or go on a long run. I'd like to do both actually, would have liked the long run tomorrow but the tennis appointment seemed like a good way to see someone this weekend. There are always activities on offer when I am busy (e.g. last weekend). This weekend, nothing, because of coming thanksgiving (and I leave for Amherst coming Thursday). Most people go home on Wednesday at the latest. Luckily I have formed an international group for next weekend, 3 of us are going to do something.

Tuesday, November 14th

Sometimes you get pulled back into reality, a non work more important reality. I just heard that L's boyfriend's uncle died and that he is very upset. I have grown very attached to her boyfriend, and he is currently travelling and alone to deal with this. I feel so sorry for him. He cannot come home until Thursday, which is a long time in a way.
And here was me feeling sorry for myself because my Research assistant entered data incorrectly (just filled in wrong number for items, everything seems to have slid down one line and he does not know why, and neither do I) and I analyzed that data and based my follow up study and some other important decisions on this. Had to go for a run to digest that one. He felt awful, which did help.
Otherwise all well. I went to New York spontaneously this weekend and loved it. Stayed with my roommate's (from Leiden) boyfriend + 2 other colleagues. We went out for dinner, danced, I chatted, loved it. Next day I went walking on my own, and just walked and walked through New York. It was partly pouring with rain but I so enjoyed it. Spent a lot of money too... It's great just sucking up the atmosphere of a town and not thinking about anything - and the shopping is amazing. I had to forbid myself 'shop entry' at the end of the afternoon, otherwise I would have plundered my entire account (and only remembered at the end of the afternoon, was that strategic?, that I also had to have my car mended this week).
For those of you who know me as an indecisive person: I am indeed. Bought an ipod with 4 GB after much doubting and consideration, only to decide when I got back home that I really did want the 8 GB one and that I would forever regret my buy if I did not get it. SO now I have to hope they will swap it, because in my enthusiasm I of course opened the box.
Enough boring ipod stories, to bed, have to sort out my data before class + car pick up tomorrow.

Thursday, November 9th

K is discovering spontaneity, something that seldomly happens in my organized Dutch life (which, given the fact that my organized activities concern friends, is something I can tell you I am missing too). But, I went to the bar again this evening, met up with the nice French girl I had talked to last week and she asked whether I would like to join her and her friend for dinner. Another very hyptertalkative girl who seemed afraid of any silence joined us and it was fun (espeically when she took bites of her food now and then, or even went to the bathroom so we could get a word in edgeways...But she was new to connecticut and obviously lonely so I can feel for her - I guess we all express insecurity in different ways and she came and talked tome when I was suddenly, scarily, standing entirely alone with a whole bunch of people close by that I did not know). I like that kind of unexpected activity. Now I sit here with a cider and contemplate an odd kind of day. Perhaps I am working just a little too hard it occurred to me this afternoon. I actually managed to irritate J,and I can tell you, this is someone who never gets irritated (or at least never shows it). These IRB procedures about the ethics of my experiment are really getting to me. J got annoyed because I was being unnecessarily deceptive, I had completely had it because I have so much to do and he was giving me a pile of things to change and I wanted to get my revision of the proposal in asap. He told me to go out and enjoy the nice weather when we had finished - I told him it was unlikely I would be out of here while the weather is still nice.
So, I think tomorrow I will make sure I get some of the nice weather, I want to go for an hours run before going to the university (unfortunately). Only going there to keep an eye on my research assistants.
Oh and I ran into the IRB office at 1 minute to 5 and handed in my revision. Just hope I did not forget anything.. or do something silly with my consent forms... I did check everything but I had to change so many different things in so many different places I cannot guarantee it went well + I added a few things (thanks to J) and perhaps I should have justified why I added them? Now I am worried again... Hm, let's take another sip of cider and go and watch sex in the city..

S4nday, November ?

How can days be too short and evenings too long? Got out of bed, played with the dogs, worked, went running, worked, went bow and arrow shooting, worked - and then the evening started and I don;t know what to do with myself. Perhaps it's because I can't work anymore because I am utterly stuck and very fed up with my statistics. Punishment for physical presence but mental absence in crucial parts of the course (and the notes on my college printouts are proof, e.g. send RA e-mail, reserve room, do IRB..) I am guessing.
well, evenings get shorter when you have sweet little brown doggie lying asleep on your knee. I am off to bed.

Saturday, November 4th

It was fun! L (person who rents me house) and L (the wife of my supervisor - I am being told my abbreviations are confusing) and I left at 8.45 this morning for the dog show. We met the breeder of L's dog at her mobile home on the grounds of the dog show (which was in a casino building). We were allowed into the show ring with her, which meant I could mill in between all the dogs. The newfoundlands were sweet, one of them, a puppy did not want to go into the ring, he just sat down. Felt so sorry for him, his handler tried to pull him in and coax him - he had to give up any efforts. It's interesting to hear the dog talk. Apparently, if your dog has enough points it is not sportive to enter him into competition unnecesarily taking away points from dogs who still need them - but some people do not keep to that rule (and they are looked at and talked about, as are the people who breed too large dogs for the breed and are trying to earn quick money, they are frowned upon even more). I've decided my next dog will be an African hairless dog, really took to them.
We have come back with another cavalier king charles girl, S. We have her for a while because she is not showing for the breeder so we borrowed her. She is not feeling very at home yet, perhaps also because B keeps sticking his nose into her bum and doing other things male dogs will do when they have not met a female for a while. Actually, by now they are both frustrated.
I am trying to cook a curry to cheer L up because big dog has been given away, she left today, and L is very sad. Only my mother did not read her e-mail today with a plea to let me know how precisely to make the thing (not that I have not done it loads of times before now but I keep forgetting) + I seem to have bought coconut milk that is sweet, and the whole curry is tasting odd. I am letting it simmer now and hoping it will improve.
Tomorrow I seem to have been booked in for a bow and arrow shooting. L's boyfriend seems to think I need cheering up so he called L and said the three of us had a date for Sunday afternoon. I did not have the heart to say that I was looking forward to a Sunday on my own. I had wanted to go on a 1.5 hour run. I did say to L that I wanted to just keep it open whether i join them but now think I'll probably have to go. In fact I would want to, that's the stupid thing, as long as I can run beforehand. And I can do that, but then I can't work very much tomorrow. And I did not work that much this week - just did not feel like it + if you for once don't have an almost impossible deadline it is difficult to motivate self. I am not sure what my next deadline is, I think I could probably even take tomorrow off but I seem to find that difficult. Sometimes I wonder whether I did not work harder during the week when I did not know I had the weekend as well.
Bsweet got back well and is confirming my hypothesis that being left behind is worse. He sounds a lot less like he is missing me than I am. I am glad about that.
Whoever is thinking about buying a ST Bernard by the way, don't, they slobber terribly!

Thursday, November 2nd

I survived one whole day in 2 windowless rooms trying to figure out a new computer program, one day after my sweet has left. So, if you can do that you can survive thanksgiving week as well, I'm sure. That feels like the next hurdle, everyone seems to go home to their family and no one is around. I am invited to 2 different places on the day itself but what do I do the other days - work of course, but I don't like being at work and not seeing anyone. I was counting on T (Israeli, therefore no family here either) but T is in New York seeing friends for those 4 days. We'll see, I can always go hiking with Bailey, and hopefully I will have more varied work than just trying to figure out a program that keeps crashing on me (and I really am only following the instructions).
This weekend, special message to my aunt and uncle, I am going to see the bernese mountain dogs and newfoundlands at the dog show (although it does mean I may miss the cavalier king charles spaniels, but L has said she will still take me home even if I do - her dog is of that type and her breeder is showing, which is why we are going).
Went to the drinks evening again tonight, very proud of myself because I find them scary when I don't know many people who are going. Pushed myself there (wanted to go safely home) and met a very nice French student who is here for only 4 months too. She also lives with a woman in a big house in a village with a lake and that woman went to a dog show last week. I said we should introduce our landladies to one another. We have exchanged e-mail adresses. I hope to see her again sometime soon.

Wednesday, November 1st

Sad, very sad. Today my sweetypie left and I miss him. I had put on make-up with the intention not to cry, luckily my new mascara seems fairly waterproof. His brown eyes get even bigger when I have to leave him. Luckily managed a joke about only being able to wave through my sunroof because my windows wont open - we both managed a little grin.
Got home (after coming just to see the end of J and DK's book signing) and went for a run, that helped. Then opened the door to my study and discovered that L had framed the two fotos she had taken of us that afternoon and had left them on my desk. So sweet! WE are going to a doggy show together this Saturday (probably with J's wife who is another dog lover). I am very much looking forward to that. She and J (her boyfriend) suggested I take the dog to bed instead if I am lonely - they meant that as a joke, luckily!
Talking about dogs, I promised to let them out one last time this evening so I'd better get going.