September 15th

Today has been my doggy day. In fact as I write my hands are being licked and my knee kept nice and warm. I got to work late having to let them out and left work at 4 pm in order to shop before going home. As usual the shoppery took longer than expected (but at least this time not because I got lost: I even finally manage to find the shortcut home which really pleased me. Did not manage to shop without once again proving I cannot yet mingle in the big crowd. Was unloading part of my enormous shopping cart full of food (this is only my 4th time shopping in one month) when the cassiere said "do you only have 12 items mam". OBviously not so I had to load everything back into my cart while the person in front of me said "I've never seen that happen before now". Rub it in.
Work is starting to be more productive at the office as well. I have hung up all the fotos I have and bought 3 posters (my roommate may be a little shocked when she gets back from her trip to Germany next week..). Somehow that helps me settle down to things rather than resenting my gray hole. And I had my ultimate moment of pleasure today (sometimes I am a little externally motivated) when J e-mailed me and said he liked the reasoning behind my new idea. I had thought of that suddenly yesterday morning, put it on paper in between phone calls with my love and e-mails with all the rest and then pressed send (it's funny but when I have good ideas I can't sit still anymore, keep distracting myself). I really liked the idea, but it is great when someone confirms that (whether it will work is another question and he did say we have to think about it. But I like the direction we are going in, these ideas excite me - and that's been awhile since I last had that).
Tomorrow I am really going to try and take myself to a mall to buy just one more pair of trousers, but I also need to take the dog out for a long walk and go running. On Sunday I have soccer practice and go to the farmer's market, so the weekend is quite full. I do hope to find some evening activity for tomorrow. As part of the soccer team I have been invited to a party, but as of yet have not found anyone I know who is going - and I am not going without knowing someone fairly well. I spent 2 evenings in a bar feeling inadequate and boring this week, have had enough of that - which is one reason why I am staying alone at home this evening.
It is also absolutely pouring here, so much so that big dog just sat down in the middle of the road halfway through our weight loss walk and refused to carry on - just when a car was coming. We had to turn around and come home. To test her I tried another road off right from the house, she plonked herself down again and looked at me resentfully.