December 1st

We have a christmas tree. L said she bought it for me - I was saying there is nothing nicer than a real christmas tree, why does she not have one. I am going to miss her, I never have a christmas tree early december at home. But people have really got out their decorations, some gardens are truly better than disney land. Have to take care not to crash my car as I stare with an unbelieving grin on my face. Christmas decorations in the States are as abundant and varied as bikes in NL.
I am starting to feel sad and a little melancholic as I cuddle the dogs, drive home, think of what to do at the weekend, see J., chat to L.. 2 more weeks and my adventure is over. Luckily B has booked us into our favorite delicious good restaurant in Amsterdam 2 days after I get back. The thought of that will keep me going when I am having trouble leaving :-))) And no, it has never occurred to me that I may resemble my father...
Yesterday evening I had an evening of complete relaxation and happiness. I had to run my study at a different university about 40 minutes away, and I had to be there on time. Being anywhere on time in a car is stressful for me here. I seem to get lost wherever I go (and I wonder whether americans print out maps for everyone or whether I have got myself a reputation, everyone seems to do it - L always shouts "wait, I am printing directions for you". Anyway, I got myself there in a big sweat, took the most indirect route I could. Managed to take the highway in the wrong direction on the way home, and so happy to have finished the experimentation part of the evening that it took me quite a while to realize. So I had accomplished that, and I managed to get my computer program to work. We ran about 40 participants this week. Unfortunately, for some unknown and unpredicted (by J - "run men as well, there wont be that many") reason, I have 90 percent men taking part in my experiment. I ran 32 men and 7 women this week - and I only need women so that is a little frustrating. Today I realized I need to include an extra questionnaire, that scares me, trying to program it and worrying for some reason my program may decide not to work again. But it's an idea I want to test for a follow up study so it must go in. I had to leave at 7.45, nto finished but unable to think.
My morning work went down the drain due to housing issues. B looked at a house and thought it might be an option. It is a difficult one, we had the agreement that we would only buy something unseen by me if he saw it and thought "wow". he did not have that but he thought it would be very suitable. And we have only had the wow thing once in almost a year, so should we wait for that, given we would like a house at some point. But, he walked in and met the downstairs neighbour who was not pleasant. Now, for me that is important. So methinks, this is not a house we can buy without me seeing it - and I could, but then I go home 2 weeks early. And I don't want to. But i do want us to have a house together. So what do we do? We think, is our solution, and on Monday we decide. Right now I don;t think, I would finally like a good night's sleep.
I do have to think about the good-bye party L. wants to give for me. It scares me so I did not react very enthousiastically. she wants me to invite my fellow grad students and then her friends whom Ive met will come. But here friends, whom I like, are around 50, my fellow grad students are 25, and I find it difficult to communicate with them. I foreseen some problems, I already have trouble connecting to them, how are these groups going to connect? Plus, given I do not feel that connected, do I want to host a party for them? I wanted to go to the pub for drinks with a group of them, nice and informal and I don;t feel too responsible. But I don;t want to offend L. So what do I do? I stick my head in the sand and do nothing (so far) which means I don;t have party and don;t have pub either. Anyone got some good advice on that one? Oh and next problem is when? NExt weekend supervisor + wife come for dinnner (help) and the weekend after most grad students will be gone (but not all, and some of the nicer ones are still there).
Time for bed. It is finally weekend, I hope to have sweet dreams about a good birthday present for T's 30th.